Thank You / No Thank You

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(Los Angeles, CA) Counting to two, one woman told reporters Tuesday of the number of times she has experienced financial and emotional harm from impulsive and ill-conceived acts of kindness.

“There’s this movie about ‘paying it forward,’ and it sets up you thinking that helping strangers makes you feel good,” said the woman, adding that while she did not actually see the movie and could be making it all up, she was pretty confident that her guess about the movie’s message was probably accurate.

“I’ve helped two people now where it totally backfired,” shared the woman. “One, I was denied a seat because a passenger was digging through her purse and apparently needed the seat or my lap to do so. But then she later asks for my help calling her number, which I did 8 times and actually dig through her purse before I ended up finding the phone under her purse and on the seat all along. She offered $5 ‘for my troubles,’ making me feel 1) offended that that was supposed to impress me, and 2) cheap for being tempted to accept.”

“The other time,” continued the woman, now on a roll, “was when I decided on a whim to buy lunch for a homeless man I passed by and to whom I was formerly acquainted. But as I come out with two lunches, I see him wheeling his way across the street, like he’s running away from me.”

The woman added that while she has always liked Kevin Spacey, the imagined premise of that movie sets her up.

“Who’s going to pay that cheeseburger forward? Oh wait, I guess that would be me…”

“Yeah, that makes me happy.”

(image source)

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