January 1 is the best and worst day of a year.
It’s the best day because anything feels possible; all I need to do is really try, and this year will be the year. The year I lose weight… the year I find love and my ‘happily every after’… the year I finally brush my hair and teeth every day.
But I should know by now that the date on the calendar does not affect who I am. It’s the inevitability of dashed hopes that hurt when I gain more weight than I lose… when I default TV friends over real ones. I’ve disappointed that “January 1st me” again. What would she think? Was she wrong in thinking so highly of me? Maybe more third-person thinking is the answer.
So in spite of minor flexes in sanity, I know that January 1st is here again. The big question is: what should I do this year? Should I rely on the goals I’ve set each of the past few years (NOVELCS*), and expect something different? Or should I actually do something different?
So I’ve only come up with one new goal so far, and the rest I suppose is what the other 364 days are for. My one goal is this:
If I want something different, I have to be different. If I want better dental hygiene, I have to brush when I’m bleary-eyed and would rather go to bed. For too long I’ve wanted change but I haven’t been willing to. Not really.
No longer will I settle for comfort but every day, every week aim for discomfort. And every day will be a new start, a new opportunity to be uncomfortable. So listen, “June 1st me” and “December 31st me,” this is not for 2013… This is for every day.
The time is now. The day is here.
* NOVELCS stands for: Doing something new. Be outdoors. Volunteer. Pursue education/learning. Write, including letters. Cultivate culture. Be social (with other live humans).