We’re All In Your Head

(Left and Right Sinus… Mostly Right) The weather has been changing, which is fortuitous for the colony. It is cold in the mornings, and warm during the days.

We are yet unsure how we have come to arrive in this strange land. The river no longer flows out, but rather flows underground; a strange phenomenon. As such, there are few tornadoes. We have also detected traces of saline and chlorine in the environment.

We have successfully managed to commence our colonization protocol. For several days, we have generated pressure causing sensitivity to the touch, and have caused pain to the head and teeth. We have also generated increases in ambient temperature and modified equilibrium functioning, creating an unstable sensation.

We have also made unexpected discoveries; our colony impacts behavior. Outward signs of influence include episodes of short-term memory loss, reductions in mental concentration levels, and uncharacteristic outbursts and turns of phrase, such as “Yeehaw, we got another one, Ma.”

We have, however, been discovered and how long we can survive is unclear. Direct firepower from the sinus rinse has not yet commenced, but is soon an inevitability and the long-range artillery, the humidifier will be in operation shortly.

Should we perish, with no progeny to carry forth our mission, please note that we were a gentle people, causing no harm to others, and overall misunderstood and incorrectly identified.  We expect to be back again, but until then, in the words of T.S. Eliot: “We shall not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started… and know the place for the first time.”

See you soon…


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